It's been a while, but...

...this is the first day I've gotten home from work before 5 in months.

To the average person, this probably seems silly. With 9 to 5 being the traditional work day, it's hard to see how someone who can technically leave work at 4 could find any room to complain about his or her schedule.

I'd like to take a few minutes to walk down memory lane: first-year teacher style.  Please keep in mind that my contract and official pay stubs cite 8 to 4 as my work day. I have broken my year into two parts: September to December and January to May.  Although my work days have not changed, the time surrounding my work days has changed drastically.

A (school) day in the life of Ms. Bonanno:

September - December

5:30 a.m. - Alarm goes off.  Time to get ready (and tweak lesson plans).

6:15 a.m. - Leave for school.

6:30 a.m. - Arrive at school.  Review lesson plans and make appropriate copies.
                    Vent to mentor/cry occasionally.
8:00 a.m. - Greet the children as they arrive. 
4:00 p.m. - Help dismiss the children after having them for about 7 hours (that 
                      includes Homeroom, Science, Reading, Writing, Math, Recess, Social
                     Studies, and the last period of the day where I inevitably have a 
                     few lingerers. It also includes the 50 minutes a day spent with another 
                    class).
6:30 p.m. - Leave school after over 2 hours of grading and getting ready for the 
                     next day.
6:50 p.m. - Arrive at home, eat dinner, continue grading and/or getting ready for 
                     the next day.
11:00 p.m. - Most likely give up on something and resign to get up early/in the 
                       middle of the night to finish.
3:00 a.m. - Alarm goes off. Time to try to finish.
4:30 p.m. - Eyelids refuse to stay open any longer. Sleep.
5:30 a.m. - Repeat.

January - May

5:30 a.m. - Alarm goes off.  Time to hit snooze repeatedly.
6:00 a.m. - (ish) Get up. Get ready.
6:30 a.m. - (ish) Leave for school. Eat bagel en route.  Drink tea. Be happy.
6:45 a.m. - (ish) Arrive at school. Grade stuff, make copies, get ready for the day.
8:00 a.m. - Greet the children as they arrive.
4:00 p.m. - Help dismiss the children after having them for about 7 hours (that 
                     includes Homeroom, Science, Reading, Writing, Math, Recess, Social
                     Studies, and the last period of the day where I still inevitably have a 
                     few lingerers. It still also includes the 50 minutes a day spent with 
                    another class).
6:00 p.m. - Leave school after 2 hours of after school program.
6:20 p.m. - Arrive at home, eat dinner, nap, plan ahead and/or grade.
7:30 p.m. - Wheel.
8:00 p.m. - Grade, plan ahead, read, watch a movie or TV, and/or relax.
9:30 p.m. - Bed.
5:30 a.m. - Repeat.


What these schedules do not include are time spent at my certification class, time spent at TFA professional development, time spent lesson planning on the weekends (12+ hours from September to January, 2+ hours now), and time spent at other school events.  


I wanted to write about this for several reasons.  First of all, judging by the drastic change I've seen in the way I spend my time (notice I did not necessarily say the amount of time I spend, but the way in which I spend it), I am assuming that it will continue to get better as time goes on.  Having these memories (although often difficult to reflect on) will help me appreciate the growth I've made as a teacher.


Secondly, I want to apologize for, but also attempt to justify, my inability to be the friend/relative I once was.  I wouldn't trade this past year for anything, but I would give anything to reconnect with the people I love and give them the time that they so willingly offered me.  For all of the times I left outings a little early, said "no" to hanging out, spoke about making plans but never followed through, and lost touch completely, I truly am sorry.  But please know that the time we lost was time gained by eight 11-year-olds who so desperately needed my time and attention.  Yes, it was excessive.  Yes, I probably could have made it by without so much time spent outside of the work hours.  Yes, I might have been a better teacher had I just given myself some "me time."  Yes, my efforts may have amounted to nothing at times.  But I can't chalk up this year to time poorly spent.  Even the nights of tears and the enormous amounts of stress that were poured into my first year of teaching helped to make it what it was.  

At the beginning of the school year, I talked with my students about how it doesn't matter where they are now, it matters where they go.  I started this year in a very difficult place, and I'm not saying it's been easy since, but I'm saying I'm still going.  I'm not sure if I'll ever  get to my destination, or if I even have one, but I do know that it  has taken, and will continue to take, time to get there.