There's a reason it's been so long...

... but here are some reasons that, as hard as this job can be, it's still more than a job for me.

1. Spring Break

I know what you're thinking. Great, here's another teacher that's in this profession for the breaks.  Well, as nice as the breaks are, the reason that spring break keeps any teacher going is that it is a much needed refresher for students and teachers alike.  I think every job should have a spring break for that very reason.  A step away from work can give people time to reflect on the basics that drew them to their given profession to begin with.  These days, I can't go anywhere without seeing something that reminds me of my kids.  And as challenging and frustrating as the day-to-day grind can get, this spring break made me remember why I teach: for the kids.  I've tried to make a habit out of letting my kids know that I think of them, so I sent them each a post card from a manatee viewing center in Apollo Beach, Florida.  It brought me so much joy this week to see them carry their post cards back to school with them, one even writing an answer to a context clues question I included in the note.  I can't go as far as saying that after a refreshing spring break I jumped out of bed to go to work on Monday, but I can say that dealing with the challenges of this job certainly is easier when you have the kids at the forefront of your mind.

2. Grumpy Granny

I can't take credit for this one.  Last year, I was greatly inspired by one of my coworkers who has since taken a break from the profession to get a master's degree in a literacy program at Harvard.  As much as we hate to admit it, most teachers are entirely too involved with test preparation.  We dedicate over a month of the school year to reviewing for state tests, and the kids can often become burnt out with all of the pressure.  In order to make the review more fun and meaningful for her students, my coworker put a name to the grader of the state test.  "Grumpy Granny" is who her kids referred to when they were writing their essays, striving to "give her what she wants" in their writing.  I "borrowed" this idea from this coworker last year, and have since run with it this year.  

"Grumpy Granny" has become an additional member to my class, and she has my kids counting down to the time when they can "beat the test" and prove to her that her reminders (that are obviously read in a grumpy granny voice) have been heard.  She may even be on their minds too much...

One day, during a vocabulary review, the word "dictator" came up.  After having read Number the Stars, a novel that takes place in Denmark during World War II and deals with the Jews escaping to Sweden, I knew just the way to ensure the kids' understanding of the word.  The conversation went something like this...

Me: Can anyone tell me what the word dictator means?
Student 1: A dictator is someone who has all the power.
Me: Good! Now, I can remember an example of a dictator that we've been talking about for quite some time now.  Can anyone help me think of that example?
Student 2: Grumpy Granny?

After a few minutes of class-wide laughter, including the student who gave the answer, it was realized that Adolf Hitler was the intended answer.  But I couldn't help but appreciate that ingenuous response.  After all, "Grumpy Granny" tells us all the time that she wants our best work, that she wants us to show what we've learned... but she never asks what we want! 

3.  Pitching

Most people who know me know this about me, but I have trouble saying "no" when asked to do something.  Subsequently, when the assistant principal of my school asked me to help coach softball, I gave the answer, "If you can't find anyone else let me know."  Sure enough, no other willing soul could be found, so I now wear a new hat as a softball coach.  If I were to submit a resume to apply for such a position, it would go something like this:

One year experience in tee ball 1993-1994
Five years experience in softball 1994-1999
Catcher 1998-1999
Third place in Phillies (local) home run derby 1999

Clearly I am not far from being the most unqualified person for this job, but I saw it as an opportunity to gain new experiences at school and interact with a group of students who I otherwise would never know.  

Softball has since started and I have been holding my own.  Luckily I am not alone in the position, so my co-coach and I are working it out.  We are fortunate to have a great group of girls who work hard and have fun playing the game.  For the most part, my level of expertise is still above the students' because most of them have never played.  However, one part of the game I have never learned previously is how to pitch.  Knowing that pitching is somewhat important to a game like softball, I knew we needed to make sure we had girls practicing the skill as soon as possible.  

Luckily for me, one day a high school student who pitches for their team graciously stayed after her practice to teach me how to pitch and warmups to use for pitchers.  About ten minutes after learning the basics myself, I turned around and taught the skill to a group of middle schoolers eager to try out.  I am happy to report that we have a decent starting and back-up pitcher who are anxiously awaiting their first game on Monday.

4. The following comments that are just too good not to share.

Me: I should have worn my fleece today.
Student: No you shouldn't have! Your hair is always messy when you wear your fleece!

(Great, so now the kids know that fleece days are usually those where I take a tad too long getting out of bed.)

Student: I feel angry because you tell jokes that you think are funny but they aren't.  I need you to stop trying to be funny.

(Legitimately said to me during a conflict resolution session with the school social worker.)

TFA Mentor after interviewing my students about our classroom: Does anyone else have anything they would like to add?
Student: Can we do writing class now?

(Melted my heart.)

My students on numerous occasions the past few weeks: CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE US A POP QUIZ ON THIS?! We know it!

(There's something about your kids asking for tests that makes you feel good...)

Me: If you have any extra scrap paper, please put it back where it belongs.
Student: Ms. Bonanno, I really like you.  You don't waste anything.

(Enough said.)

I could probably go on, and I will try to write more. I should try to write more.  Sometimes it is easy to forget these little things, but when I look at them all together, it really is a great reminder of why I put in all of these hours and sacrifice a lot of my, well, sanity.  As I consider what it is I want in life, it is good to know that I am experiencing time well spent.

 

Say Something Nice

"If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing all."  Whether you were a Disney child and heard that from Thumper, or just a child at all and heard a rendition of that from your parents, we've all heard this expression one way or another.   However true, it seems as though people seldom remember the catchy motto.  In my year and a half of teaching in Camden, New Jersey, I have found the ratio of good comments to bad comments to be proportional to the ratio of the 9 square mile city to its nearly 9,000 square mile state. 

A former South Jersey resident paid for this sign with the intent of facilitating a more positive discourse about Camden.

Yet I must say, the good comments seem to outweigh the bad comments when it comes to the conviction and action behind them.  Sure, you can quote crime statistics and murder rates all you want. You can blame said violence on bad parenting or poor education.  You can even make jokes about how the kids know how to use a weapon better than they can count. Yet, while your comments are grounded in finger-pointing blame and passive criticism, every single positive comment I have heard about Camden has a foundation of life-changing action that is driven by passion, love, and hope for the city.

At the beginning of December, I had a chance to have a candid conversation about Camden with some of its biggest supporters: three fifth graders who call the city invincible home.  Usually my conversations with the kids revolve around decimals and vocabulary words, and the regions of the United States, but field trips allow me to interact with more kids at a more casual level.  This particular trip was to a puppet show whose message seemed to mirror the message these kids conveyed to me that day.  And both messages, in their simplest terms, come to one easy-to-follow conclusion: Be nice.

Just like anyone who has ever stepped into Camden, or the discourse thereof, these girls have seen and heard it all: the put-downs, the accusations, and the assumptions.  One young lady, an aspiring dance teacher who voluntarily helps with the cooking at home, recalled a time when her well-off cousins came to visit from their enormous Pennsylvania home.   Her home, which is full of love but lacks space, was received by her cousins with comments about its small size and dirty appearance.  There was paradox in her eyes when she was relaying the memory, as you could simultaneously see both the love she had for her cousins and the sadness that their comments left behind.  

Another student attends church in a town outside of Camden and hears negative things about Camden on a regular basis.  People constantly say to her, "I know you have to live in Camden, but you should go to another school." What's worse, people often mockingly ask her, "You haven't been shot yet?"  The conviction in this young lady's response to such comments is overwhelmingly mature, confident, and inspiring.  "I am in a school where I learn a lot," she said with all her heart, "and I will be ready for college."

In an assignment where students were asked to write about Camden, the same young lady who received criticism from her own family was wise beyond her years in saying that Camden in and of itself is not bad, but that there are people in Camden, just like anywhere else, who make bad choices. 

The student who couldn't even escape the negativity at church went on to say how she understands what it takes to work hard to get what you want and where you want in life.  Innocently, she spoke of her desire to have a cell phone, and how she works hard in school and at home to earn it. 
 
Why should these kids need to justify their homes? Their education? Their lives? We've all felt that pang of insult when someone walks all over something or someone important to us, and these kids and their families deal with it every single day.  These girls, who were eager to talk about their younger siblings who are learning sign language and Spanish in their Camden day cares, just want people to see Camden like they see it.  Why should they have to feel like their treasure has to be everyone else's trash?

Now, these kids are smart. They do not look through Camden with an ignorant, all-is-well lens.  At the same time, they don't wish to leave Camden just because their families and peers dismiss it with the rest of society.  They just want what all of us want: to make their hometown a better place for everyone and to be the best they can be.   Quoting trash clean-up, tree-planting, and house-fixing as things Camden needs, it is very clear that these kids see their city as their own community of which they want to be part.  Say all you want about Camden, but it is their home, and the actions of so many wonderful people will continue to speak louder than your words.

I hope that the amazingly positive movement in Camden -- because you better believe there is one -- never stops and that the people who call it home continue to embrace their city.  And I hope that the next time you speak about Camden, you have something nice to say.

Happy Thanksgiving

I am thankful for numerous people and things, but today I can't help but be thankful for having a job that brings me joy and pain, successes and failures, all of which add up to learning experiences that I will hold with me forever.  To have a full time job at the ripe, young age of 23 really means, as I have come to see, that you have yet another influence shaping the way you will live your life forever.  I am happy to say that my job helps me to appreciate small steps toward improvement, small amounts of extremely important people, small moments where you see people at their best, and small, seemingly forsaken places.  

Yesterday I had the privilege of awarding one of my students with one of our grade's "most improved" awards for the first marking period.  The look of excitement on her face radiated throughout the whole cafeteria, and her mother, who was in tears with concern for her daughter's future at conferences, was beaming with joy.  This student works so hard, day in and day out, beating the odds that everyone else seemed to think were not in her favor.

After the assembly I went up to another student of mine, who started out the school year doing exactly the opposite of the aforementioned.  This student barely worked at all, day in and day out, and would make any and every excuse for not completing work, whether in class or at home.  After a tremendous struggle with making up work, she was left with the remnants of a marking period gone terribly wrong.  

Day one of marking period two arrived and I had my hopes, but I also had my hesitations.  I've seen many "clean slates" get lost in the mess time and time again, and I was worried that, intent aside, my student was just not ready to change.

Yesterday we completed day seven of marking period two.  I am happy to report that this student is not missing any work and, according to her mother, has stopped asking for help with her homework because she "gets it."   What's more, this student has adopted a slogan that I just happened to mention during a few tests.  She seems to have really taken it to heart, and it is making such a difference in her work ethic, which will make such a difference in her life. "I'm not letting the work beat me, Ms. Bonanno," she'll say.  "I'm beating the work."

As I approached my prodigal student, I couldn't help but wonder if she had been thinking the same thing during that awards assembly as I had.  "You know what I was thinking during that whole assembly?" I said with a smile.  "I was thinking that, if you keep up the work you are doing now, your name is going to be called at one of these things."  

A small, suppressed grin started to form on my student's face.  "You were thinking that, weren't you?!" I yelled.  With a slight nod of her head, I knew that I was talking to a brand new person. 

I can't seem to get this exchange of words off my mind. Here you have two young ladies from one small, seemingly forsaken place, who have both made small (well, maybe not so small) steps toward improvement. I might complain here and there about my ever so small class, but today I am thankful for my small amount of extremely important people, and the opportunity to witness these small moments where they are at their best.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Always Remember

On September 11th, 2001, I was in 7th grade. A little bit before lunch, our assistant principal made an announcement saying that she "was sure that we had heard of the explosions in New York by now" and that, for now, the day would carry on as scheduled.  Not having any clue what explosions she was talking about, my peers I and carried on as usual and eventually made our way to lunch and then class. Only when we arrived at class business wasn't as usual.  We walked into classrooms where our teachers had fear in their eyes and, for the first time of many times that would occur over the next few days, weeks, and even months, we watched news coverage that soared above our comprehension levels.  We had questions, but our teachers, who had given us answers to so many questions before, suddenly lacked the ability to meet our concern with eloquently stated guidance and reassurance.

Now, eleven years later, I am in the role of the teacher and have found myself for two years now trying to convey the significance of this date with the perfect balance of grief and thankfulness.  Grief, of course, for the tragedy in the thousands of lives lost.  Thankfulness for the men and women who sacrificed their safety, and often their lives, so that others could survive that day.  

Last year, most of my class was born either just before or just after September 11th.  When having a class discussion about what happened that day, one of my students began crying.  He hadn't known someone who was directly affected, nor was this the first time he had heard of September 11th.  He was simply feeling, so strongly, for all of those affected by the tragedy.

This year, with my small class, our conversation started with us viewing a video outlining the events of the day and paying tribute to the heroes that arose from the hardship.  Before diving into the heavy topic, I like to get a feel for how much my students already know about the day.  Today I was surprised to learn that one of my students had not ever heard of September 11th. Whether or not this was true, I'm not sure, but what can be sure is that perhaps this student hadn't been informed about the day in a way that conveyed the effect it has on Americans today.  In my mind, as important as it is for those of us who were around for that day to always remember, I believe it is just as important for us to do our job to ensure that even those who were not around learn about that day: what happened, what it meant for those directly affected, and what it means for Americans today. 

Today, all of the fifth graders at my school wrote letters to police and firemen to thank them for the service they do for our cities.  If the sincerity and excitement for the task that I saw in my students was at all similar to what the other teachers saw in theirs, then today we did our job to convey at least one small way to pay tribute to the memories of September 11th. 

Ten Things...

...that you just have to laugh at or else they'll make you miserable because they didn't make the first day of your second year of teaching go as you envisioned it.

1. After taking Nyquil and beginning to feel its drowsy effects the night before the first day of school you ask, "Should I have showered tonight?"

2. After waiting to shower until the morning you find that getting ready takes longer than you remembered it taking before, setting you way behind your ideal schedule.

3. Taking quite the leap from bagels with cream cheese spread just the way you like it as one's morning sustenance to a bowl of plain, instant oatmeal.

4. Doing the potty dance all morning because you forgot to use the restroom before you went to greet the kids.

5. Playing Radio Disney softly in the classroom because you realize that it is really too quiet with only two kids in the room.

6. Having to literally drag yourself out of your desk chair to go upstairs and eat with your colleagues because you are just that lazy.

7. Opening your lunch to find that the ravioli you were so looking forward to consisted of no more than six one-square-inch pieces, leaving you hungry for the rest of the day.

8. Mixing up the names of your two students at the end of the day.

9. Staying until after 6 p.m., all too closely mirroring many an afternoon of your first year.

10. Getting home to find that both Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune are reruns to which you not only remember the questions and puzzles, but also the people and their personalities: what they're wearing, their names, what you like, what you dislike about them, etc.

All that being said, I am laughing at these things because, although my day did not go as I envisioned it, these things and the great things that happened throughout the day made it what it was.  And although I would  love to have a Nyquil-free night and am anxiously awaiting the growth of my class, both in size and knowledge, I am excited for what this year will bring.  I think that being able to say that in my half-asleep Nyquilness and after an 11-hour visit to work says a lot.  

Here's to another great year!

Bieber Fever

When Justin Bieber first hit the scene, I was initially impressed with his youthful talent and his momma's boy persona that seemed to only mirror his actual close relationship with his mother.  However, as time went on, I grew tired of the Bieber Fever, and eventually swore him off when the students I taught seemed to have all been "sick" to the point of delirium: carrying lunch boxes with Bieber's face, composing fake practice letters to the Biebs, and singing all of his songs word for word with a sort of admiration that I can really only compare to Gaston's girls in Beauty and the Beast.

There have been other musicians that I have seen elicit the same sort of behavior from the kids that have not been as... annoying.  One Direction, for instance, has reminded me why I loved NSync and the Backstreet Boys so much in my midlde school years.  I can't say that I've been writing them letters or carrying them on my lunch box, but I do know their popular songs and have, in the past, impressed some 5th graders on a field trip by singing along to one of their favorite One Direction tunes.  

But for some reason I just can't provide the same entertainment when it comes to Justin Bieber.  In fact, my singalongs are generally replaced with eye-rolling and head-shaking, much to the dismay of many of the kids.  

This year, however, I may be turning over a new leaf.  Part of being a teacher is having the ability to be authentic and able to relate to the kids, which is exactly why I authentically exuded my 98.6 degree feelings about J. Biebs and justified the "relating" part by implying that I knew who Justin Bieber was.

My new leaf has to do with nothing more than the simple fact that I now feel conflicted, and it's because of this song.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that my temperature on the Beiber Fever scale has gone up a few tenths of a degree, and I can no longer pull the head-shaking, eye-rolling card.  I can't say the 11-year-old girl in me has fallen for the Biebs himself, but I can't ignore how catchy this song is, and how likely it is that I'll be singing along with the kids if the opportunity  predicament arises. 

This is my "I'm back" post.

I don't want to be a Negative Nancy, nor a Positive Patty... So I think I'll just be a Factual Franny.  And then I'll let all the Analyzing Alejandros figure out how I'm feeling.

1. I haven't written a blog since June, at which point I decided that I'd continue writing throughout the summer in order to use that time as a "reflection period."

2. The majority of my summer was spent gallivanting around Europe.

3. While I thought of my previous students from time to time (whether while seeing things that I thought they'd like, or remembering how I forgot the paper with their addresses on it to send them postcards), I did not give much thought to school at all.

4. Today my summer ended and year number two began.

5. The kids come in 12 days.

Alright Smart Susans... since I don't have enough energy to eloquently convey how the previous facts are making me feel, it's up to you and the Intelligent Ivans to draw some conclusions!  I promise that I'll be an Emotional Ethel in my next post!

Until then, I'll be alternating between being a Sleeping Sharon and a Working Wendy.