Bieber Fever

When Justin Bieber first hit the scene, I was initially impressed with his youthful talent and his momma's boy persona that seemed to only mirror his actual close relationship with his mother.  However, as time went on, I grew tired of the Bieber Fever, and eventually swore him off when the students I taught seemed to have all been "sick" to the point of delirium: carrying lunch boxes with Bieber's face, composing fake practice letters to the Biebs, and singing all of his songs word for word with a sort of admiration that I can really only compare to Gaston's girls in Beauty and the Beast.

There have been other musicians that I have seen elicit the same sort of behavior from the kids that have not been as... annoying.  One Direction, for instance, has reminded me why I loved NSync and the Backstreet Boys so much in my midlde school years.  I can't say that I've been writing them letters or carrying them on my lunch box, but I do know their popular songs and have, in the past, impressed some 5th graders on a field trip by singing along to one of their favorite One Direction tunes.  

But for some reason I just can't provide the same entertainment when it comes to Justin Bieber.  In fact, my singalongs are generally replaced with eye-rolling and head-shaking, much to the dismay of many of the kids.  

This year, however, I may be turning over a new leaf.  Part of being a teacher is having the ability to be authentic and able to relate to the kids, which is exactly why I authentically exuded my 98.6 degree feelings about J. Biebs and justified the "relating" part by implying that I knew who Justin Bieber was.

My new leaf has to do with nothing more than the simple fact that I now feel conflicted, and it's because of this song.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that my temperature on the Beiber Fever scale has gone up a few tenths of a degree, and I can no longer pull the head-shaking, eye-rolling card.  I can't say the 11-year-old girl in me has fallen for the Biebs himself, but I can't ignore how catchy this song is, and how likely it is that I'll be singing along with the kids if the opportunity  predicament arises. 

This is my "I'm back" post.

I don't want to be a Negative Nancy, nor a Positive Patty... So I think I'll just be a Factual Franny.  And then I'll let all the Analyzing Alejandros figure out how I'm feeling.

1. I haven't written a blog since June, at which point I decided that I'd continue writing throughout the summer in order to use that time as a "reflection period."

2. The majority of my summer was spent gallivanting around Europe.

3. While I thought of my previous students from time to time (whether while seeing things that I thought they'd like, or remembering how I forgot the paper with their addresses on it to send them postcards), I did not give much thought to school at all.

4. Today my summer ended and year number two began.

5. The kids come in 12 days.

Alright Smart Susans... since I don't have enough energy to eloquently convey how the previous facts are making me feel, it's up to you and the Intelligent Ivans to draw some conclusions!  I promise that I'll be an Emotional Ethel in my next post!

Until then, I'll be alternating between being a Sleeping Sharon and a Working Wendy.

It went well.

Now that the school year has been said and done, I've had some time to sit and mull over how I feel about my first year of teaching.  The overwhelming consensus of my brain's daily variety is that it went well, but that it was lacking in a few areas.

For instance, my hectic schedule provided the lack of fresh cuisine in my palette that still has yet to find its way back.

The schedule also provided the lack of visitations from and visits to old friends, something of which they have been more than understanding and that has improved with time.

Lacking in conversation pieces that do not relate to school does not phase me, but many around me seem to have had enough, especially when I am around other educators.

In the classroom, it is lacking confidence that comes to mind the most.  I know for sure that this area changed throughout the year, and I am excited to see what entering a school year with at least some confidence can do for a classroom.

Consistent extracurricular activities were also missing from my life this year, which is a first for me.  As the year went on, helping out with the after school program and watching Wheel of Fortune helped with this (trust me, I know how sad that sounds), but I'm looking forward to having some more structured me time next year!

My biggest feeling of lack this year, though, comes from none of these.  A year ago today I lost one of the people who would have been one of my biggest cheerleaders in the work I've done this past year.  I can't really put words to the feeling associated with missing my grandmother, but lacking such a role in my life has been truly difficult.  I often think of things that I just know she would love to hear, and while part of me believes she knows, I'm just a little too selfish and want to tell her myself.  I'll never forget rushing to the hospital from my training to say goodbye, finding her smiling and asking for assurance that I truly do like where my life was heading.  At the time I wearily told her that I loved it, knowing in the back of my mind that it was and would continue to be the hardest thing I'd ever done.  I kept hoping that it truly would be something that I loved so that I could stay true to  my word.

I'd be happy to tell my grandmom today that I did, in fact, love it... and that it went well.  I just wish I could have shared it with her.

The end is HERE!

Today is the last day of my first year of teaching! 

Bittersweet doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling, but within the next few hours I know that both emotions will be hitting me at full force.

Oh, and by the way... For a limited time:

Meet my class here!

One more thing: What will I write about? Oh, I'll write.  This summer is the time when all of this year's memorable stories will come back to me, and all of the thoughts about next year will be formed.  

Until then, time to get to work on time!

The end is near!

Only 3 half days left of school.

On the agenda: Playing in a student-staff softball game, watching a video that I filmed/edited/made for/of my class, and completing the tear-down of my classroom.

It's crazy stuffing this year into boxes.  I still can't fathom that a mere ten months ago I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  Now I not only have experienced my first year of teaching, but I am on my way out of it. 

There have been many successes and shortcomings along the way.... probably more of the latter, but one success story in particular has been on my mind for a few days now.

All of my students came to me this year as low-performing students.  Most of them struggled across the board, but those who tried and completed the tasks I put before them improved greatly.  One student whose presence in my class has been overwhelmingly enjoyable probably came to me with some of the most primer skills of all.  For most of his life, this student was moved from school to school because he was not getting the help that he needed... and this student truly needed individual attention and so much patience.  I have been blessed with the patience of a saint, or so I have been told, and I was also blessed with a small classroom that allowed me to get to know each student individually.  Combine those factors with my genuine love for this kid and his family - the strongest family support system I've seen in my time teaching - and you have created a place where he feels safe and eager to learn.  The student certainly has more growth to be done, but his success this year has been monumental.  I couldn't believe it myself until I saw the numbers that indicated that, after entering fifth grade with reading scores that match students who have received no schooling, he ended the year with nearly a fifth grade reading level, which places him in the average range for students his age.

I wish I could say that five years of growth was the average for my class, for my kids need so much more than that, but this success story for my student leaves me with much hope for next year.  I started this year knowing nothing.  Sure, I had common sense and trial and error, but I felt as though I spent a lot of time learning on the job, which is generally the nature of any new position.  Knowing that I could help facilitate growth even with such a struggle in the beginning makes me both excited and anxious about my new challenge: to take what I've learned and make next year a far more successful year for my kids. 

Thank God I'll have two months to rest up for that endeavor. 

Brian

Last night, I attended a high school graduation.  Not just any high school graduation, but the graduation of my (baby) brother Brian.  This was a momentous occasion for a lot of reasons: high school graduations are generally a big deal, he's the last of the (4) Bonannos to go through Octorara High School, he's had numerous accomplishments throughout his high school years, he's headed straight to college to pursue a degree in something that he loves... the list could go on. I couldn't be more proud.

The thing about Brian is that he is not only a spectacular kid in and of himself, but he also helped make me the person (and teacher) I am today.  See, Brian was one of the main reasons I wanted to go into education in the first place.  Let me explain.

For his whole life, Brian has often had to work twice as hard to get where he needed to be.  Needless to say, he got there.  And I would say he got there with flying colors.  This was certainly not without the help from several amazing educators and arts directors who made a difference in his life.  Seeing the growth Brian has made in his life made me all too eager to be that support, in one way or another, for any child who needs it.


I'd have to say, though, that Brian's influence on me started way before I was able to see such monumental growth.  On the day Brian was born, the day I became a big sister, I was changed forever.  For the first time in my life, I became a role model, a protector, an advocate, and an educator.  Although I probably didn't realize this at the mature age of 4, Brian's life has been one of the prime movers of my own.  

Anyone can be a big sibling, but not everyone chooses to live up to that role wholeheartedly.  I can't say that my decision was deliberate or even selfless, for that matter.  I can say, though, that at one point I subconsciously decided that Brian was my brother and that what hurts him hurts me, what makes him laugh makes me laugh, and what he succeeds in is a success for me.  


It is with this love that I entered into the teaching career.  I even find myself talking to my kids as I talked (and still talk) to Brian so many times.  I am a role model, a protector, an advocate, and an educator to these kids.  I am more than proud to say that I learned each and every one of these roles through the life of my amazing, not-so-little-anymore brother.

 

It's been a while, but...

...this is the first day I've gotten home from work before 5 in months.

To the average person, this probably seems silly. With 9 to 5 being the traditional work day, it's hard to see how someone who can technically leave work at 4 could find any room to complain about his or her schedule.

I'd like to take a few minutes to walk down memory lane: first-year teacher style.  Please keep in mind that my contract and official pay stubs cite 8 to 4 as my work day. I have broken my year into two parts: September to December and January to May.  Although my work days have not changed, the time surrounding my work days has changed drastically.

A (school) day in the life of Ms. Bonanno:

September - December

5:30 a.m. - Alarm goes off.  Time to get ready (and tweak lesson plans).

6:15 a.m. - Leave for school.

6:30 a.m. - Arrive at school.  Review lesson plans and make appropriate copies.
                    Vent to mentor/cry occasionally.
8:00 a.m. - Greet the children as they arrive. 
4:00 p.m. - Help dismiss the children after having them for about 7 hours (that 
                      includes Homeroom, Science, Reading, Writing, Math, Recess, Social
                     Studies, and the last period of the day where I inevitably have a 
                     few lingerers. It also includes the 50 minutes a day spent with another 
                    class).
6:30 p.m. - Leave school after over 2 hours of grading and getting ready for the 
                     next day.
6:50 p.m. - Arrive at home, eat dinner, continue grading and/or getting ready for 
                     the next day.
11:00 p.m. - Most likely give up on something and resign to get up early/in the 
                       middle of the night to finish.
3:00 a.m. - Alarm goes off. Time to try to finish.
4:30 p.m. - Eyelids refuse to stay open any longer. Sleep.
5:30 a.m. - Repeat.

January - May

5:30 a.m. - Alarm goes off.  Time to hit snooze repeatedly.
6:00 a.m. - (ish) Get up. Get ready.
6:30 a.m. - (ish) Leave for school. Eat bagel en route.  Drink tea. Be happy.
6:45 a.m. - (ish) Arrive at school. Grade stuff, make copies, get ready for the day.
8:00 a.m. - Greet the children as they arrive.
4:00 p.m. - Help dismiss the children after having them for about 7 hours (that 
                     includes Homeroom, Science, Reading, Writing, Math, Recess, Social
                     Studies, and the last period of the day where I still inevitably have a 
                     few lingerers. It still also includes the 50 minutes a day spent with 
                    another class).
6:00 p.m. - Leave school after 2 hours of after school program.
6:20 p.m. - Arrive at home, eat dinner, nap, plan ahead and/or grade.
7:30 p.m. - Wheel.
8:00 p.m. - Grade, plan ahead, read, watch a movie or TV, and/or relax.
9:30 p.m. - Bed.
5:30 a.m. - Repeat.


What these schedules do not include are time spent at my certification class, time spent at TFA professional development, time spent lesson planning on the weekends (12+ hours from September to January, 2+ hours now), and time spent at other school events.  


I wanted to write about this for several reasons.  First of all, judging by the drastic change I've seen in the way I spend my time (notice I did not necessarily say the amount of time I spend, but the way in which I spend it), I am assuming that it will continue to get better as time goes on.  Having these memories (although often difficult to reflect on) will help me appreciate the growth I've made as a teacher.


Secondly, I want to apologize for, but also attempt to justify, my inability to be the friend/relative I once was.  I wouldn't trade this past year for anything, but I would give anything to reconnect with the people I love and give them the time that they so willingly offered me.  For all of the times I left outings a little early, said "no" to hanging out, spoke about making plans but never followed through, and lost touch completely, I truly am sorry.  But please know that the time we lost was time gained by eight 11-year-olds who so desperately needed my time and attention.  Yes, it was excessive.  Yes, I probably could have made it by without so much time spent outside of the work hours.  Yes, I might have been a better teacher had I just given myself some "me time."  Yes, my efforts may have amounted to nothing at times.  But I can't chalk up this year to time poorly spent.  Even the nights of tears and the enormous amounts of stress that were poured into my first year of teaching helped to make it what it was.  

At the beginning of the school year, I talked with my students about how it doesn't matter where they are now, it matters where they go.  I started this year in a very difficult place, and I'm not saying it's been easy since, but I'm saying I'm still going.  I'm not sure if I'll ever  get to my destination, or if I even have one, but I do know that it  has taken, and will continue to take, time to get there.