Happy Thanksgiving

I am thankful for numerous people and things, but today I can't help but be thankful for having a job that brings me joy and pain, successes and failures, all of which add up to learning experiences that I will hold with me forever.  To have a full time job at the ripe, young age of 23 really means, as I have come to see, that you have yet another influence shaping the way you will live your life forever.  I am happy to say that my job helps me to appreciate small steps toward improvement, small amounts of extremely important people, small moments where you see people at their best, and small, seemingly forsaken places.  

Yesterday I had the privilege of awarding one of my students with one of our grade's "most improved" awards for the first marking period.  The look of excitement on her face radiated throughout the whole cafeteria, and her mother, who was in tears with concern for her daughter's future at conferences, was beaming with joy.  This student works so hard, day in and day out, beating the odds that everyone else seemed to think were not in her favor.

After the assembly I went up to another student of mine, who started out the school year doing exactly the opposite of the aforementioned.  This student barely worked at all, day in and day out, and would make any and every excuse for not completing work, whether in class or at home.  After a tremendous struggle with making up work, she was left with the remnants of a marking period gone terribly wrong.  

Day one of marking period two arrived and I had my hopes, but I also had my hesitations.  I've seen many "clean slates" get lost in the mess time and time again, and I was worried that, intent aside, my student was just not ready to change.

Yesterday we completed day seven of marking period two.  I am happy to report that this student is not missing any work and, according to her mother, has stopped asking for help with her homework because she "gets it."   What's more, this student has adopted a slogan that I just happened to mention during a few tests.  She seems to have really taken it to heart, and it is making such a difference in her work ethic, which will make such a difference in her life. "I'm not letting the work beat me, Ms. Bonanno," she'll say.  "I'm beating the work."

As I approached my prodigal student, I couldn't help but wonder if she had been thinking the same thing during that awards assembly as I had.  "You know what I was thinking during that whole assembly?" I said with a smile.  "I was thinking that, if you keep up the work you are doing now, your name is going to be called at one of these things."  

A small, suppressed grin started to form on my student's face.  "You were thinking that, weren't you?!" I yelled.  With a slight nod of her head, I knew that I was talking to a brand new person. 

I can't seem to get this exchange of words off my mind. Here you have two young ladies from one small, seemingly forsaken place, who have both made small (well, maybe not so small) steps toward improvement. I might complain here and there about my ever so small class, but today I am thankful for my small amount of extremely important people, and the opportunity to witness these small moments where they are at their best.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Always Remember

On September 11th, 2001, I was in 7th grade. A little bit before lunch, our assistant principal made an announcement saying that she "was sure that we had heard of the explosions in New York by now" and that, for now, the day would carry on as scheduled.  Not having any clue what explosions she was talking about, my peers I and carried on as usual and eventually made our way to lunch and then class. Only when we arrived at class business wasn't as usual.  We walked into classrooms where our teachers had fear in their eyes and, for the first time of many times that would occur over the next few days, weeks, and even months, we watched news coverage that soared above our comprehension levels.  We had questions, but our teachers, who had given us answers to so many questions before, suddenly lacked the ability to meet our concern with eloquently stated guidance and reassurance.

Now, eleven years later, I am in the role of the teacher and have found myself for two years now trying to convey the significance of this date with the perfect balance of grief and thankfulness.  Grief, of course, for the tragedy in the thousands of lives lost.  Thankfulness for the men and women who sacrificed their safety, and often their lives, so that others could survive that day.  

Last year, most of my class was born either just before or just after September 11th.  When having a class discussion about what happened that day, one of my students began crying.  He hadn't known someone who was directly affected, nor was this the first time he had heard of September 11th.  He was simply feeling, so strongly, for all of those affected by the tragedy.

This year, with my small class, our conversation started with us viewing a video outlining the events of the day and paying tribute to the heroes that arose from the hardship.  Before diving into the heavy topic, I like to get a feel for how much my students already know about the day.  Today I was surprised to learn that one of my students had not ever heard of September 11th. Whether or not this was true, I'm not sure, but what can be sure is that perhaps this student hadn't been informed about the day in a way that conveyed the effect it has on Americans today.  In my mind, as important as it is for those of us who were around for that day to always remember, I believe it is just as important for us to do our job to ensure that even those who were not around learn about that day: what happened, what it meant for those directly affected, and what it means for Americans today. 

Today, all of the fifth graders at my school wrote letters to police and firemen to thank them for the service they do for our cities.  If the sincerity and excitement for the task that I saw in my students was at all similar to what the other teachers saw in theirs, then today we did our job to convey at least one small way to pay tribute to the memories of September 11th. 

Ten Things...

...that you just have to laugh at or else they'll make you miserable because they didn't make the first day of your second year of teaching go as you envisioned it.

1. After taking Nyquil and beginning to feel its drowsy effects the night before the first day of school you ask, "Should I have showered tonight?"

2. After waiting to shower until the morning you find that getting ready takes longer than you remembered it taking before, setting you way behind your ideal schedule.

3. Taking quite the leap from bagels with cream cheese spread just the way you like it as one's morning sustenance to a bowl of plain, instant oatmeal.

4. Doing the potty dance all morning because you forgot to use the restroom before you went to greet the kids.

5. Playing Radio Disney softly in the classroom because you realize that it is really too quiet with only two kids in the room.

6. Having to literally drag yourself out of your desk chair to go upstairs and eat with your colleagues because you are just that lazy.

7. Opening your lunch to find that the ravioli you were so looking forward to consisted of no more than six one-square-inch pieces, leaving you hungry for the rest of the day.

8. Mixing up the names of your two students at the end of the day.

9. Staying until after 6 p.m., all too closely mirroring many an afternoon of your first year.

10. Getting home to find that both Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune are reruns to which you not only remember the questions and puzzles, but also the people and their personalities: what they're wearing, their names, what you like, what you dislike about them, etc.

All that being said, I am laughing at these things because, although my day did not go as I envisioned it, these things and the great things that happened throughout the day made it what it was.  And although I would  love to have a Nyquil-free night and am anxiously awaiting the growth of my class, both in size and knowledge, I am excited for what this year will bring.  I think that being able to say that in my half-asleep Nyquilness and after an 11-hour visit to work says a lot.  

Here's to another great year!

Bieber Fever

When Justin Bieber first hit the scene, I was initially impressed with his youthful talent and his momma's boy persona that seemed to only mirror his actual close relationship with his mother.  However, as time went on, I grew tired of the Bieber Fever, and eventually swore him off when the students I taught seemed to have all been "sick" to the point of delirium: carrying lunch boxes with Bieber's face, composing fake practice letters to the Biebs, and singing all of his songs word for word with a sort of admiration that I can really only compare to Gaston's girls in Beauty and the Beast.

There have been other musicians that I have seen elicit the same sort of behavior from the kids that have not been as... annoying.  One Direction, for instance, has reminded me why I loved NSync and the Backstreet Boys so much in my midlde school years.  I can't say that I've been writing them letters or carrying them on my lunch box, but I do know their popular songs and have, in the past, impressed some 5th graders on a field trip by singing along to one of their favorite One Direction tunes.  

But for some reason I just can't provide the same entertainment when it comes to Justin Bieber.  In fact, my singalongs are generally replaced with eye-rolling and head-shaking, much to the dismay of many of the kids.  

This year, however, I may be turning over a new leaf.  Part of being a teacher is having the ability to be authentic and able to relate to the kids, which is exactly why I authentically exuded my 98.6 degree feelings about J. Biebs and justified the "relating" part by implying that I knew who Justin Bieber was.

My new leaf has to do with nothing more than the simple fact that I now feel conflicted, and it's because of this song.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that my temperature on the Beiber Fever scale has gone up a few tenths of a degree, and I can no longer pull the head-shaking, eye-rolling card.  I can't say the 11-year-old girl in me has fallen for the Biebs himself, but I can't ignore how catchy this song is, and how likely it is that I'll be singing along with the kids if the opportunity  predicament arises. 

This is my "I'm back" post.

I don't want to be a Negative Nancy, nor a Positive Patty... So I think I'll just be a Factual Franny.  And then I'll let all the Analyzing Alejandros figure out how I'm feeling.

1. I haven't written a blog since June, at which point I decided that I'd continue writing throughout the summer in order to use that time as a "reflection period."

2. The majority of my summer was spent gallivanting around Europe.

3. While I thought of my previous students from time to time (whether while seeing things that I thought they'd like, or remembering how I forgot the paper with their addresses on it to send them postcards), I did not give much thought to school at all.

4. Today my summer ended and year number two began.

5. The kids come in 12 days.

Alright Smart Susans... since I don't have enough energy to eloquently convey how the previous facts are making me feel, it's up to you and the Intelligent Ivans to draw some conclusions!  I promise that I'll be an Emotional Ethel in my next post!

Until then, I'll be alternating between being a Sleeping Sharon and a Working Wendy.

It went well.

Now that the school year has been said and done, I've had some time to sit and mull over how I feel about my first year of teaching.  The overwhelming consensus of my brain's daily variety is that it went well, but that it was lacking in a few areas.

For instance, my hectic schedule provided the lack of fresh cuisine in my palette that still has yet to find its way back.

The schedule also provided the lack of visitations from and visits to old friends, something of which they have been more than understanding and that has improved with time.

Lacking in conversation pieces that do not relate to school does not phase me, but many around me seem to have had enough, especially when I am around other educators.

In the classroom, it is lacking confidence that comes to mind the most.  I know for sure that this area changed throughout the year, and I am excited to see what entering a school year with at least some confidence can do for a classroom.

Consistent extracurricular activities were also missing from my life this year, which is a first for me.  As the year went on, helping out with the after school program and watching Wheel of Fortune helped with this (trust me, I know how sad that sounds), but I'm looking forward to having some more structured me time next year!

My biggest feeling of lack this year, though, comes from none of these.  A year ago today I lost one of the people who would have been one of my biggest cheerleaders in the work I've done this past year.  I can't really put words to the feeling associated with missing my grandmother, but lacking such a role in my life has been truly difficult.  I often think of things that I just know she would love to hear, and while part of me believes she knows, I'm just a little too selfish and want to tell her myself.  I'll never forget rushing to the hospital from my training to say goodbye, finding her smiling and asking for assurance that I truly do like where my life was heading.  At the time I wearily told her that I loved it, knowing in the back of my mind that it was and would continue to be the hardest thing I'd ever done.  I kept hoping that it truly would be something that I loved so that I could stay true to  my word.

I'd be happy to tell my grandmom today that I did, in fact, love it... and that it went well.  I just wish I could have shared it with her.

The end is HERE!

Today is the last day of my first year of teaching! 

Bittersweet doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling, but within the next few hours I know that both emotions will be hitting me at full force.

Oh, and by the way... For a limited time:

Meet my class here!

One more thing: What will I write about? Oh, I'll write.  This summer is the time when all of this year's memorable stories will come back to me, and all of the thoughts about next year will be formed.  

Until then, time to get to work on time!